And yet as I sit here thinking about it and allowing myself to wallow in fear and doubt and trepidation about the future, I realize that I am focusing solely on him and what is going on with his recovery and how he will deal with this situation and wanting to check in and make sure he has called the office this morning--etc. I made a promise to myself, back when I really got serious about my own recovery, that I would stop that. That I would focus on me. That I would let go of the things I couldn't control. This is certainly something I can't control, but all this weekend that thought alone has been unsatisfying. This morning, however, a stopover at MPJ's blog led to some insight about some of the other meanings of the oft-repeated recovery phrase, "Let go and Let God." I think the one she described that hit home the most for me was, "Let go of fear and let God soothe." I cannot control this situation, but that very fact only makes me more afraid of it. What I need to do today is let go of this fear and allow God to take care of not only the situation, but also of me.
Is Anybody Out There
2 months ago