Friday, November 7, 2008


Things have been good lately.  Really good.  Surprisingly good.  D is finally working more normal day hours again, and we are seeing each other more, and life is pretty much steady (with maybe the exception that I'm not studying as much as I should...pre-Christmas burnout, here we come).  So that's why I hate what happened tonight. 

I was driving along a windy country road tonight en route to see my youngest sister in her school play, when all of a sudden I had a flashback to another very windy road I drove down on New Year's Eve with a friend of mine about four years ago.  Relatively benign memory.  Except that the reason I was driving down that twisty road with my friend was because that year, D was somewhere else with other friends I didn't know, because he wanted to be away from me with them, right around the time he first started acting out.  It was uncomfortable, having a memory of that time sneak up on me like that.  I've since had a lovely time at the play and gotten to hang out with my mom a bit before coming home to relax and study (yes, on a Friday night...such is my non-stop thrilling life), and I'm not too concerned about anything whatsoever.  I guess I just hate the way things sneak up on me sometimes.  I'd much rather have crazy definitions and lists of terms sneaking up on me, because then I'd at least feel productive. 

1 comment:

Sophie in the Moonlight said...

Oh yeah, SA codie PTSD - we've all got it and there is never a good time for a flashback. All I can offer is that you will start to be able to detach from their aftermath as time goes by, meaning your recovery from the flashbacks will be quicker.

Go over to the JWC for more on these topics. The link is towards the bottom right on my blog.