This is where my people-pleasing is at its worst--in these gut reactions to simple things, like invitations to birthday parties. In my effort to please others and thereby control them and my environment (because if I can keep D happy, of course, he won't act out and I won't have to deal with all that craziness) I have once again discounted myself. This kind of thing used to happen all the time, and cost me some friendships along with my sanity. Luckily, now I have my recovery tools and while those deep-seated fears haven't exactly gone away, I can at least remind myself (again) that I cannot control D's reactions. It is not my job to ensure his happiness 100% of the time, and even if he is alone and/or angry about my absence, he is perfectly capable to drawing on his own recovery tools to get through it. I can leave him to his Higher Power and focus on--gasp!--me. And if I focus on me, and self-care, and what I really want to do, the answer to her question comes easily.
Of course! I can't wait!