Monday, October 20, 2008


D attended his first SAA meeting tonight, and was very positive about the whole experience.  He said it was very welcoming, he finally felt like he was in a place where he wouldn't get judged, and could be up front and honest about everything and get some help he really needed.  I think the biggest thing that impressed upon me, though, was one particular thing he said.  He said that one of the things that impressed upon him was that people were talking about things they had done and where they had been with their addictions, and he said it was amazing, because all of the things they were saying were things he could relate to--things he had done.  He said people talked about how they lied by omission, manipulated those around them, etc., and he was just like, "yes! yes! that's me!"  I felt really encouraged by the fact that he saw himself in their problems, maybe because I think it will help him to even more fully confront his addiction.  He also seemed much happier to go to this group because there are more people of his age and socio-economic background than in his counseling group.  Also, I think, it's nice for him to go to a group that is there just for support--one that is there not to fix him, but to help him and support him as he fixes himself.  His counseling group is so centered on the idea of "making you better," I think, and so focused on the offenses of those involved, that it's hard to get around that.  I'm hoping that the fact that this is separate from the offense will help him to fight the addiction for the sake of fighting for the addiction, and not just because his counselor or PO is breathing down his neck.  He seemed very excited also that the SAA groups were so available--there are several during the week that he can attend very easily around his work schedule, and he himself made the comment that he likes the idea much better of being able to go to one of those very quickly and get support after having a rough day or temptations or slip-ups rather than having to just muddle through a week to report in at a group that will see those things more as failures or even crimes.  I'm hoping he stays as happy about it as he is now, and continues to want to go.  He's been "recommended" to go twice a week...but part of me is holding my breath to see if he ends up going even more just because he wants to.  This week that probably won't be possible because he's still working closing shifts almost every night, but maybe in the future.  

Still unsure of whether or not I'll drive with him to his next PO appointment and court date.  Part of me really wants to go just for the drive time--it's almost 2 hours away, and so it's one of the only times a week we can really sit down and have long term discussions, usually about how things are going with the addiction/acting out/the offense/etc...and that usually helps me to not think about it so much the rest of the week other than when we check in each day.  On the other hand...I have class that afternoon that I would have to skip (and probably could, but would feel bad about ditching my group), and I'm not sure how I would be able to handle waiting on the court thing to be over.  We'll see when the time comes, I guess.  

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